A note to creepy, stalker salesmen in parking lots...

Whenever a (now usually younger), man approaches me in a pair of khakis and a collared button-up shirt with his hands out and says, much too loudly, "hey, excuse me, don't worry, I'm not crazy!" I automatically think to myself, "what's he selling now?" This happened to me today at Sam's Club, as my rear end is literally hanging out of the back passenger door of the Denali (more on that to follow). I squinted into the sun to see not one, but two, twenty-ish dudes, dressed alike, trying to hand me a brochure to look at. Mind you, I did say I was at Sam's club, but I should clarify that I was LEAVING Sam's, which means I had about $350 worth of meat, milk, refrigerated foods and two boxes of the awesome-est Swiss Miss fudgesicle bars all playing beat the clock before I melt or rot in the ridioculously-still-hot weather that is California. I was in my workout clothes from the gym (the fudgesicles only have 100 calories each!) and my hair was a little frizzy from the sweat. Rico Suavee and his Jr. Companion are trying to sell me 5 visits to the local spa and wanting to know if I've ever had a facial...seriously?! His big cheesy grin fell of his face and dripped down his freshly ironed shirt when I refused to take the card and said, "sorry, I'm not interested right now." He looked at me like he couldn't believe it and skulked off like a child. I finished loading ALL of the groceries into the backseat since the back of the Denali is FULL of cans waiting to go to the recycling center. I'm assuming that they were once bagged up securely, but when I unsuspectingly opened the back door to load my groceries today, a mountain of them fell noisily out of the back of my car! I was totally embarassed as I picked them back up and threw them into the car. Cans were EVERYWHERE! I looked like I had just come from the park where I'd been going through trash cans to collect bottles. Thanks Quincy, my super industrious 11 year old, always trying to make a buck. I finally got into the car and turned the air on high...As I sat lamenting the situation, I saw my fine khaki'd friends approaching another woman trying to unload her Sam's cart...only she had a child with her. They were sent packing yet again. Yikes! Think about it boys, you'd probably do better not holding up the mom with a cart of groceries...I'm just sayin'!